There are just some days when momma needs this still moment in time more than my children do. This was one of those days. My little man just couldn’t seem to function without being held all morning. Normally, I really enjoy going through our routine morning schedule with him in my arms, squealing and watching his big sister with delight. But on this particular morning, I could have really used both hands to help calm my sweet girl as I worked gently, trying to clean out her “hurts.” She just cried out, “Pease all done momma, no want it pease. No we dot (clean up) pease momma” on repeat as I soaked her cuts in warm, soapy water and cleared out all the fuzz and dirt to avoid any infection.
We managed somehow, and after both kiddos recovered from their melt downs, we cuddled, sang together, and they went down for naps. This is usually the time when I race around cleaning up the house, sorting through bills, and accomplishing any task that is easier to do without two small children in tow (which could be said of most tasks).
Instead, I left the dirty dishes in the sink, ignored the stack of mail that needs to be sorted, and sat down in bed with my Bible (and maybe a little bit of chocolate). Needing to refuel before going about the rest of my day I opened up to Isaiah 6.
In the year that King Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; and the train of His robe filled the temple. Above Him stood the seraphim. Each had six wings: with two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. And one called to another and said:
“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts;
the whole earth is full of His glory!”
And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke. And I said: “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!”
Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a burning coal that he had taken with tongs from the altar. And he touched my mouth and said: “Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for.”
As I read this I got stuck on verse 5. ”Woe is me! For I am lost” Other translations use the word undone in place of lost. The closet poetical self deep inside me likes that better. When Isaiah saw himself in light of the incredible otherness of God he called out, “I am UNDONE!” I experience these “undone” moments quite often. As self-awareness settles in and I stand in awe of the magnitude of my God I find myself unraveling…falling apart.
Undone can be defined as: not done; not accomplished or completed. All too often I allow myself to get stuck in the “undone.” While this is a necessary, God honoring step of growth I must force my way through the weight of undone-ness and push toward a fuller, deeper place. God never intended me to wallow in the “Woe is me” stage of life, but rather to allow Him to fashion completion in me. James 1:4 says, “And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” This is the other side of undone. When you realize how hopelessly and utterly lost you are without a restored relationship with the God of the universe, and surrender to His steadfast molding of your life.
So here I am with naptime coming to an abrupt end. Thoughts are swarming my head about pushing through the “undone” and heading towards completion. This blog will serve as a report card of sorts. A means for me to share my “faith-testing” journey with you. Hopefully, through the pages yet to be written, there will be evidence of God’s steadfastness having its full effect on me. So here’s to trudging on ahead, (sometimes having to be dragged) and chasing after a completion that can only be accomplished through the saving power of Christ Jesus.
Today marks a documented journey…