Choosing Delight

Self-reflection has never been something that I have looked forward to with anticipation.  In fact, I cannot think of a single moment in time where I have enjoyed allowing God to reveal to me the desires and motives of my heart.  It’s as if I am watching a painful story being played out in slow motion…and that story is mine.  In these moments something deep inside of me winces as I come face to face with my brokenness.  The reality is, each time I yield to God’s restorative work in my heart I find that once again I have come to the place where I love what I want more than I love God or desire His glory.

I find myself responding to my relationship with God out of duty and devotion.  I know that I ought to obey God, and I truly love and desire to obey Him.  But I still fall drastically short because the truth is I rarely delight in God and in His Word.  God has been laying His Spirit heavy on my heart recently in order to teach me that if I truly want to be brought into places of greater blessing and fruitfulness I must come to Him in glad-hearted surrender.  Part of submitting to God is reminding myself daily that no matter how momentarily gratifying and comforting my sinful desires are, they can never surpass the magnitude of what God has in store for me.  I made a list this week of the things that I often desire more than I desire God:

{comfort, organization, rest, community, affirmation, being pursued,
love, health, deep relationships with Jesse and my children, being settled…}

Sadly, this list grows every time I examine my heart.  The most astounding thing about this is that most of these desires can be perfectly met in Christ (the rest don’t even matter in view of eternity).  But instead of delighting in Christ and the Word that He’s given to me, I desperately cling to and fight for whatever pieces of my desires that I can grasp hold of.  What foolishness!

Follow-Your-HeartIt is easy to drift into despair, to bury myself in self-pity, because once again I have not chosen to delight myself in my Savior.  And there lies the simplicity of my problem of settling for complacency in my journey with God.  I do not choose.  Scripture is filled with summons to delight in the Lord.

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

“In the way of your testimonies I delight as much as in all riches.” Psalm 119:14

Delight: a high degree of pleasure or enjoyment; joy; rapture; enchantment.

 This should be my heart-felt response to God.  Delight is not something that one just happens to stumble upon.  It is an entire framework of thinking.  I have allowed my desires to cloud my view of God.  I have elevated personal agendas, and selfish pursuits above the Lord.  This has only lead me down the path of discontentment, grief, and uncertainty.

imgresI have been given the privilege of being in relationship with the God of the universe.  A God who is faithful, immeasurable, trustworthy, steadfast, gracious, blameless, merciful, nourishing, exalted, and just.  This is worth delighting in.  How can I not be enchanted with God and His Word when I choose to diligently and purposefully meditate on His richness?  I am weary of settling for a colorless, conventional life, when God has offered me the extraordinary.  Nothing should stand in my way of finding deep satisfaction and joy in my Savior.

I don’t want to be content with responding out of duty or devotion to God. God isn’t.  I know this has to be a daily choice and commitment, but it is beyond worth while.  So today I choose to be so pre-occupied with the magnitude of my God that it consumes me.

I choose delight.

Advertisements

One thought on “Choosing Delight

  1. Laurie Schmidt says:

    Wow Ash. I LOVE your blogs, and am totally convicted by them. (So do I REALLY love them?) Yes, I do. I’m not one who self-examines very often. I find too much gunk and dross there. Thanks for making me look. It’s a good thing to do. And then fall on my face before the only true One who will always satisfy.

    Delighting as well,
    Momma Laurie

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s