Hello, dear one. I have been thinking a lot about your heart lately.
Partly because your Daddy asked me to share with the youth group girls about sexual purity and partly because you have been viewing the world through the lens of weddings and marriage as of late.
(You even officiated a wedding between your wise men’s camels this morning while the angels and shepherds watched on and joined in on the dance party that followed…..silly girl). But regardless of the reasons, God has been laying it heavy on my heart to be praying for yours. So here are just a few seeds I want to diligently plant and nourish in your soul…
You will never feel whole until you truly understand who you are in Christ. Boys and dresses and beautiful weddings never satisfy. Until you embrace your identity in Christ and can fathom just how desperately your God loves you, you are not ready to love and be loved by someone else. Because until you allow Christ’s perfect love to penetrate every corner of your being you will always try to fill the empty spaces with weak imitations of love. And can I just say right now that a boy’s love…even a godly man’s love….was never meant to occupy the identity-forming crevices of your heart. It’s like filling a gas tank with salt water.
Little one, you need to decide where you will look as you are searching for your identity and value. You can either look around – and compare yourself to photoshopped magazine covers and culture’s standards of beauty – or you can look up. And daughter, my prayer for you is that you will look up and be awakened to the incredible truth that you have been handcrafted by the Creator and Sustainer of the Universe. As a showpiece of God’s creation you are incredibly valued and fiercely loved by Him. Nothing and no one can add to your worth. Your significance is held securely in what God has said about you. And dear one, He has said that you are very good.
Right now, in this moment, you are loved deeply, perfectly, and completely. You will never be more loved than you are right now. No relationship will ever change that.
“Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”
Song of Solomon 8:4
Before you can arouse or awaken love you must know the answer to the question “Who am I?” If you don’t then you will only spend your life adopting everyone else’s view of who you are and what you’re worth. And that is a path that you do not want to walk down. So don’t arouse love until you are grounded in God’s love for you.
As you begin to understand yourself you will discover that deeply rooted in your heart is the desire to be pursued and worth pursuing. You want to be cherished. You want to be fought for. The desire to be treasured and pursued is woven into the very fabric of your being in order to point you to the only One who can truly and infinitely cherish you. The One who relentlessly pursues you. Those deepest desires have to be met in Christ first.
Because here’s the truth: not every guy you meet will pursue you. Not every guy who pursues you will love you. Not every guy who tells you that he loves you is capable of cherishing you. Not every guy has it in him to pursue and love and treasure a woman. Only a man who has built his life on Christ has that strength of character because only Christ can produce that kind of love in us.
You want someone who will treasure you for all of your life. So don’t settle for the attention of any guy that isn’t willing or able to cherish you like that. If what you crave is attention or someone to “fill your heart” then you need to go back to sorting out your identity. If you want someone to affirm that you are beautiful, keep pouring over who you are in Christ until you can honestly drive out any desire for cheap and weak and temporary and conditional excuses for love… until what you really want is to save yourself for a man who will honor God and treasure you.
My sweet girl, you are beautiful and you are loved. You don’t need a boy for that to be true of you. That Psalm 139 truth has been spoken over your life since the beginning of creation. Hold on to it with all your might. And in moments when you feel like it is slipping through your fingers or being crowded out by the lies the world is whispering into your heart every day, remember that your God has bound that truth to you with His might.